Dear Zriah...

Dear Zriah,

"First of all I love your book and cannot wait for your next book to come out! I have a Dilemma! (No pun intended). I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 years now and I love him dearly. He is wonderful to me but can be a bit controlling. He has to approve everything from my make-up to my attire. I was ok with it until it filtered to the bedroom. I have not had an orgasm with him in about 4 years!!! He wants everything HIS WAY! I have to lay how he wants, stand how he wants, touch him how he wants, and suck him how he wants. He has not performed oral sex on me in years yet I have to give him head about 4 times a day. I have grown quite tired of it. I want to walk away but I have nowhere to go. He takes care of me financially and I do not want for anything. I have no real work experience because he has allowed for me to stay at home all of this time and I do not have anything but a high school diploma.

The dilemma comes in here. About 2 years ago I was complaining and crying, talking to his brother. Next think I know I was giving him head. I ended up sleeping with him and we have been sleeping together for about that long. At first, I felt a little odd sleeping with his brother that day and then laying down with my boyfriend a couple of hours later. Now it doesn't bother me at all. He makes me feel good! His brother was NOT my type at all but I have grown to love him as well. I want to stop with his brother but I get multiple orgasms with him and it’s not all about him. He nurtures my body the way I need it to be nurtured. It’s not all about just his needs or just sucking him because he does the same to me and VERY well! He has made it very clear that he is not looking for any type of relationship with me but he enjoys being with me. I don't know what to do about either one of them. Please Help!"

Signed,

Dilemma

Dear Dilemma,

Let me start by saying thank you for the compliment. Now let me jump right in here. You first mentioned that your boyfriend is good to you. I do not see how. It seems as though you are using the way he takes care of you financially as means that he is good to you. No ma'am! Now, I hate to do this but I have to preach. We as women set the standards that men expect. If we sit around and allow for them to do the things they do, they will continue to do those things. Yes, men are responsible for their actions but what are women doing to contribute to their actions. Think of it like this: A controlling man that is used to doing what he want, when he want with his woman is stuck in a room of ten women, two of them are head strong and will not put up with that but eight is OK with his actions because they just want a man. He will not have to change how he look at women because there are more women willing to do what he want than not willing. Now let’s reverse it, there are only two women willing to put up with him but eight who are not, he will then realize that he has to do some changes because the majority of the women he encounter demand respect and to be treated as a woman.

This man is only using you for his sexual pleasures. To hell with yours. He can dangle a couple of dollars at you and you jump on his balls. You have to stop that! You could have used some of that six years to go to school, educate yourself and felt more comfortable about walking out the door. His financial support should not be a factor in your happiness because guess what? You are still not happy! I noticed that you said he 'allows' you to stay at home. I 'allow' my dogs to go outside or sit in the living room for few hours but nobody 'allows' me to do a damn thing and neither should you. You have not mentioned it but I can almost guarantee this man puts his hands on you. You need to get out of this situation quick.

As far as the brother, although you are getting your jollies you are still being used as a toy. You never mentioned what the brother has done for you besides sex you. You did mention that he did not want a relationship which means to me that is something you may have wanted with him. He is sleeping with his brother's woman! I'm sure he is not wanting to take you serious. You were vulnerable when you went to him and he knew it that’s why you were giving him head the day you went crying to him. Can you imagine how your CONTROLLING boyfriend will react if he knew you were blowing both of them. Let’s just hope for your sake that your boyfriend already knows.

I'm not sure if there are some self-esteem issues going on or what but you have to get yourself out of this situation. Neither of the two are good. Take time to learn you and love you and realize you are worth more. Once you realize that, you will see everything a little better.

Signed,

Zriah

Questions can be emailed to laezriahjustice@gmail.com

Disclaimer: I am not a professional nor do I claim to have any expertise in the subject matter. Questions asked receive answers based on my opinions alone. The information provided is informational and should not be relied upon as legal/professional advice.

Avonte Oquendo Furneral

My heart is still very sad regarding Avonte Oquendo. I prayed so hard for this little boy to return safely to his mother who begged and pleaded so long for her son's return. My prayers are with this family during this awful time. wake-funeral-held-autistic-teen-avonte-oquendo-article-1

Dear Zriah

Dear Zriah,


 "First, I want to say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE your book! I cannot wait for more of your work! What keeps my attention is the random sex acts, places, people etc. It reminds me much of myself and I have always felt there was something seriously wrong with me all of these years. I have about two friends that I can tell about my sexual thoughts, ideas and even excursions. I feel the majority of the time I have to keep my thoughts to myself for fear of being judged and this brings me to my issue. I have started dating someone who I really like but I am having a lot of issues with her sexually. When we first started dating, I did hold back my sexual desires because I was afraid to run her off. Now, I have become more comfortable in telling her things that I like, things I want to do etc. Now, when I first started telling her and wanting to experience my desires with her, she was all for it. She used to rarely let me eat her pussy. Now I am up to being able to eat all night and sleeping between her legs to eat when I wake up in the middle of the night. We are down to having sex maybe once a week. I am becoming frustrated because I am so attracted to her and no it is not just sexually however my desires are there and very high. We went out to eat and I wanted to play with her pussy while we were at the table or let her play with my dick at the table. She became upset with me and left. I felt that was perfect because I love doing sexual acts when others have no clue. She fussed and cussed at me all the way home. In my mind, I did nothing wrong but wanted feel on her pussy with everyone else clueless. That turns me on! There are so many other incidents that I am actually afraid to say on here in fear that someone may think I'm some type of freak. I want to be with this woman but my desires are not being satisfied, not in the slightest way. I want to be able to enjoy my woman and if my thoughts are too much, I wouldn't mind some compromise at least. Am I asking too much of her or any woman? Do you think I should try and work this out and keep trying? I just don't know but I do know the most excitement with her was with me jacking off to your book."


Signed,
Sexually Starved


Dear Sexual Starved,


First I want to say thank you for your compliments. Now to the meat of the issue. I do not feel there is anything wrong with you. I can only speak for myself about this (so my female audience will not kill me lol). I know there are some times when I feel much like your girlfriend (rarely). That is just a woman I think. I understand that you want to be with her but when a person's sexual desires are not met, they tend to start venturing out more and more often. The example of you and her in the restaurant actually was in my book and a lot of those scenes were reality. I am much like you when it comes to spontaneous sex. I enjoyed sitting at that table grabbing his dick letting him play with me and when our waiter come over he had absolutely no clue. Like you, that was a HUGE turn on for me. The sexual things I display in those books 9 times out of 10 I have experienced so does that make me strange? I think not! I think that there are lots people like you and I who enjoy sex and not just basic sex.


When you first started dating her, I think you should have mentioned something about your desires that way she will know what she is getting into from the start. Not saying this should have taken place on date one but definitely early on. I'm sure you think she is trying a little, or at least enough to lay between her legs at night. Waking up to the essence of her and be able to taste is has to be a turn on for you because it is for me to wake up receiving; but I'm sure there are other things you desire for yourself in the middle of the night. A quickie or even a little head every now and then. What's wrong with you wanting some at random times in random locations? Nothing! YOU ARE NOT A FREAK (in a bad way)! You are just a freak in the sheets ;).  Are you asking too much of her? Yes. She is obviously not on your level sexually and constantly asking will only annoy her and push her away. We should not base our relationships 100% on sex, however it is extremely important. If my sexual desires were not being met, I would not be able to be faithful. Its a package deal and should be with him too. Should you continue to try? You can continue but from what you have said already, I do not think she is on your level sexually. You will get bored and jacking off to my book will start to become repetitive. You have to seek someone share the same sexual desires. Trust me they are out there.


I have used a lot of comparisons between you and myself in this reply because I want you to know that you are not in a league of your own. I have plenty of friends who think much like me and tell me that they have taken a lot of my experiences and played around with them. I said that to say that there are people out there who are just like you. Feel them out, throw a hint or something every now and then and you will be surprised to know how many people you see everyday who are just as sexual as you, if not more.
Signed,
Zriah


Questions can be emailed to laezriahjustice@gmail.com

Disclaimer: I am not a professional nor do I claim to have any expertise in the subject matter. Questions asked receive answers based on my opinions alone.  The information provided is informational and should not be relied upon as legal/professional advice.

Celebrating Martin Luther King Observance Day

Well, I wanted to place some pictures on here in tribute to the late Dr. Martin Luther King however my BlogSpot is not cooperating with me. It will not allow me to add any videos or images at this time so I will just attach the link to the I Have a Dream Speech.




 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAtOV_cp2b8




This man fought hard for civil rights of people of color. I just wonder what he would think if he were here today. I, for one, am sick and tired of black people using the white man as an excuse for all their shortfalls. True, there is and probably will always be racism. People need to realize that when one door close, you just look for another door. Stop wasting time complaining about everything and use that energy to continue to strive. I am disappointed in the black on black violence and the violence blacks commit against others (not saying that other races does not commit crimes because we all know that is not true). I'm just saying stop making names for our ourselves and hold yourselves accountable for your actions rather than playing the blame game. Its time to RISE UP and stop being a SLAVE to your own mind polluted by nothing more than Violence.  It is such a shame that we have to beg for a day of "No Shots Fired" in a highly populated Black/African-American community. That is ridiculous! How does that make Blacks look? Its time to wake up black people!


http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-martin-luther-king-20140119,0,3647000.story

Dear Zriah...

Dear Zriah,

"I have been single for a several years now and I have tried dating however, everyone I have dated has some type of issues. They were secretly married or had a girlfriend or were just not interested in anything except sex all the time. I recently met someone (very recent) and, although I do want to settle down again, he is moving VERY fast. He started telling me he love me in about a week, he wants to have children and wants to be married within the next 2-3 years. I did not want to just blow him off but I am concerned about how fast this man is trying to move. It hasn't even been a month since I have met him. I am trying to be open-minded because I am very quick to cut someone off but I can't help but be concerned. Now, that is not all that has been happening. He has been telling me he is coming over and I will not see or hear from him until the next morning. He will text me 'good morning' like he did not just stand me up the night before. He has done this SEVERAL times. He came to my house on New Year's, left about 2 hours before midnight claiming he had to go to sleep for work the next day. When I tell him about his actions, he tries and say I am playing games. HUH? Then he says he loves me and I BETTER love him and not hurt him. It does not put me in the right mind or mood how he acts. I am just confused and I just wanted to ask someone who does not know me and cannot judge me based on knowing me. Thank you for your time and I will await your response."

Signed,
Rather Be Alone


Dear Rather Be Alone,

Let me start by saying I can understand your concerns with this man. He sounds like he can be very controlling. ("You BETTER love him and not hurt him"). That is a very tall order for someone you just met. It also sounds like you want to take your time and get to know this individual and he is throwing things at you all at one time and then he gives you mix signals about the things he is throwing you. In one breath, it seems he is saying he loves you and want a family with you very early in this relationship yet he disappears on you in the next breath. Hmmm. On one hand, it could be another woman in his radar as well and telling you he is coming over keeps you at home while he is out with his other woman and vice versa for the other female.  On the other hand, he may just want to see how far you will let him go. In any case, he is pushing blame on you to remove the spotlight on him and having you second guess your own feelings about what he is doing and HE IS playing games. Don't let him play those mind games with you honey. You need to sit down and evaluate everything and try to look in the future. Remember, typically how a relationship starts is how it ends so if you allow things that make you unhappy or question yourself, this could last the entirety of your relationship. Do not allow this man or any man to control you, have you sitting at home waiting on him, and questioning your own morals. Do not settle based on loneliness. You sound like you have standards so KEEP YOUR STANDARDS! Don't waiver because of someone else's problems. Dust that dress off, grab those hills and pamper yourself. To hell with his drama. There are some wonderful, beautiful, faithful men in this world. It may take a little more time to find him.

Signed,
Zriah


Questions can be emailed to laezriahjustice@gmail.com

Disclaimer: I am not a professional nor do I claim to have any expertise in the subject matter. Questions asked receive answers based on my opinions alone.  The information provided is informational and should not be relied upon as legal/professional advice.

Dear Zriah?

One of my previous blog posts was a Dear Zriah post. When my friend made the statement that oral sex was not cheating, I gave him..a piece of my mind LOL (He's like my best male friend). He asked my opinion as to why did I feel like it was and I put my opinion on my blog.

I receive so many question, ideas and concerns with people everyday life. I am a pretty open person to just about anything so a lot of people feel comfortable talking to me about...well anything.  I am NO expert on relationships but I do find a lot of the questions very interesting. When I answer I am as honest as possible but I can be a comical person. My responses are my thoughts alone but I have decided that, with the permission of the people asking the questions, I will post them on my blog. I will not use their names or anything just the questions they ask and my replies.

Well this was the introduction to my Dear Zriah segments. Although I am no expert on blogging or relationships I will do my best.


Here Goes...

~Lae'Zriah

RIP James Avery...

I love me some Uncle Phil! My heart is sadden by the passing of Mr. James Avery. He will forever be remembered for his great talents and beautiful smile. My condolences to his family and friends.

~LaeZriah

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/01/showbiz/celebrity-news-gossip/james-avery-obit/